Cats - a review

Discussion in 'Movies' started by Drew, Dec 20, 2019.

  1. Drew

    Drew Well-Known Member Top Poster

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    No, I didn't see it. No, I won't see it. I had forgotten this ill conceived monstrosity was to exist.

    so...


    Watching CATS is like stumbling upon an unholy and heretofore unknown genre of porn. Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning I was certain the FBI would raid the theater


    Can you make a movie so bad that the Academy takes back your Best Director Oscar?

    why does Jason Derulo attempt a cockney accent? Why is there a troupe of dancing cockroaches? Why do the breakdancing cats — yes, there are breakdancing cats — wear trainers?

    All the actors are trying their hardest

    Idris Elbas agent: Bad news, you won’t be Bond. But the good news, you’ll still be in a movie with Judi Dench.

    First off, full disclosure -- I am not a cat person. Second off -- after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either. -Alan Corr.

    Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs.


    "Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test.
     
  2. Carl V

    Carl V Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

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    Now, don’t pussyfoot foot around, was it really a CATastrophe? So, nothing in your MEMORY was this bad? Did it make you wanna hiss? Maybe Ted Nuggets Cat Scratch Fever was what you needed. Or British vintage Cat Stevens.
     
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  3. DustinDavis

    DustinDavis Bronze Member

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    I have never actually seen the play. So maybe this is unfair. Nonetheless, I have a wild and crazy desire never to see Cats, in any form, ever. I do not understand how this...thing...has fooled the public for this long in the first place.
     
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  4. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

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    "Midnight, and the kitties are sleeping..."
     
  5. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

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    My kids want to see this
     
  6. Barry_NJ

    Barry_NJ Well-Known Member

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    I've enjoyed the play on DVD for years, and enjoyed its revival on Broadway. I'll likely rent this, or borrow it from the library, when it's available. Yes, there is no real plot, it's a compilation of poems for children, translated to music and dance for the stage. Enjoy the singing and dancing, but don't look at it as a traditional long story play, or movie, for that matter. Most of the reviews seem to feel the singing and dancing is good, they just freak out about the CGI costumes, and lack of long form story/plot. I'm not sure why they miss the point(?)
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2019
  7. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

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    My wife wanted to see Cats. It is an amazingly lame production, going from meh to ugh. I have not seen the play, but it is one of the most successful shows on Broadway and around the world. It just didn't inspire anything but loathing in me.
     
  8. CJ

    CJ Bronze Member Admin Top Poster

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    I'm assuming everyone has read the drama by now. The CGI is so bad that the studio is shipping a "patch" to theaters. There is an entire dance number where the actors' feet clip through the floor. There is a scene where Judy Dench's hand is human instead of cat. Even if the movie were good, sending a half baked release to theaters is unacceptable. The studio deserves the bomb on this one.
     
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  9. DYohn

    DYohn Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

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    I saw the Broadway touring company production many years ago and left the theater in the second act because I was so bored out of my skull. No way will I see this movie. And I agree with CJ: if it wasn't ready for release then the only reason to release it now is money and Oscar contention. Sad, crass, and pure Hollywood.
     
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  10. Barry_NJ

    Barry_NJ Well-Known Member

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    As a follow up to my earlier reply, I hadn't heard about the CGI flubs, only that it was bazaar'o/weird with the human/cat hybrid creatures. If the CGI was truly not finished, I fully concur with David's assessment of...
    Hopefully the CGI will be fixed for the home release.
     
  11. DustinDavis

    DustinDavis Bronze Member

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    I doubt people hate this because it has some CGI issues. They hate it because it is a musical movie with humans dressed and behaving as cats. Like kitty cats. It’s fucking weird.
     
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  12. Max Yokell

    Max Yokell Well-Known Member Top Poster

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    So CJ maybe mom can take them to the movie and you can stay home, if not...well sucks to be you. :)
     
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  13. Denton

    Denton Bronze Member Donor Top Poster

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    That's unfair of me. I apologize. In truth, I also felt much sadness that this beloved work had been fumbled so badly.
     
  14. Drew

    Drew Well-Known Member Top Poster

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    Like the source material was so great
     

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