No, I didn't see it. No, I won't see it. I had forgotten this ill conceived monstrosity was to exist. so... Watching CATS is like stumbling upon an unholy and heretofore unknown genre of porn. Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning I was certain the FBI would raid the theater Can you make a movie so bad that the Academy takes back your Best Director Oscar? why does Jason Derulo attempt a cockney accent? Why is there a troupe of dancing cockroaches? Why do the breakdancing cats — yes, there are breakdancing cats — wear trainers? All the actors are trying their hardest Idris Elbas agent: Bad news, you won’t be Bond. But the good news, you’ll still be in a movie with Judi Dench. First off, full disclosure -- I am not a cat person. Second off -- after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either. -Alan Corr. Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. "Cats” is both a horror and an endurance test.